A Joan of all trades

Wife, mother and friend incapable of saying 'no' made service to the community her life's work

By: Maggie Macintosh

Joan Rettie was often told to sit on her hands so she would quit raising them to volunteer her time.

"I can’t think of something she didn’t do. She was always there, first in line: ‘Take me! Take me!’" said Pat Spiring, Joan’s best friend for 50 years.

Spiring’s pleas to Joan to recognize how hectic her volunteering schedule already was — managing a hospital gift shop, leading singalongs at a personal care home, teaching Sunday school at church, among other acts, both planned and impromptu — never proved successful.

"‘I’ve got so much time,’ she’d say. You just couldn’t stop her."

Born Joan Lawrie Kergan, Joan was a dedicated volunteer for much of her 86 years. When she died of leukemia in the summer, she left behind a chock-full resume and sizable social circle of friends and family, who remember her as a generous woman.

"Mom enjoyed her day most when she made someone’s day a little easier and a little brighter," said Sandy Rettie, Joan’s eldest daughter. "She really had the gift of creating sunshine on a cloudy day and this was her purpose in life.’

Joan was born in Lethbridge, Alta., on June 14, 1933, although her family moved to Winnipeg’s Norwood neighbourhood soon after. She called the Prairies home her whole life, although she did squeeze in a hitchhiking trip to Europe with friends and visited tropical destinations with family when she could.

She was always big on family — perhaps because she always had a fairly big one. She was a middle child, sandwiched in between her brother Jim and sister Lorraine. After she married Don Rettie in 1957, the couple raised five children: Don, Sandy, Bob, Nancy and Bill.

It was mutual support and understanding, despite the polar opposites — Joan the optimistic and Don the realist — that resulted in a successful marriage, until Joan’s husband died in 2004. The duo had been acquainted since Joan’s days working as a soda jerk in Norwood as a teenager.

Sandy and her sister, Nancy, said their parents balanced each other; each one was committed to community service and active in their kids’ extracurriculars.

The Retties’ five kids were born in a six-year time span, keeping Joan busy as a homemaker. She never missed a graduation or turned down an opportunity to help a neighbour.

Her caring nature later helped her foster close relationships with her 11 grandchildren.

Spiring recalls her best friend, who she met when the Retties moved down the street in Charleswood, was always a go-big-or-go-home type of woman.

"You never asked Joan to bring something unless you were prepared for lots of something. The Retties don’t ever operate in little bits," Spiring said. Take Joan’s contribution to the annual Charleswood United Church autumn supper, for instance. She baked 12 pies every year.

Early in her life, Joan began to make a Joan-of-all-trades name for herself. In both high school and university, she was active in sports, theatre, music, the student newspaper and student council. She would graduate from both the University of Winnipeg (United College at the time) and the University of Manitoba with arts and social work degrees, respectively.

Her eldest son, Don Rettie, cites her social work background as one of the reasons she was such an understanding parent and person. During her time volunteering in the Children’s Hospital Guild gift shop — a task she took on after one of grandchildren became sick, she offered a listening ear to anyone who stopped in, whose loved ones were hurting or healing.

"She made people feel like they were her best friend. She was always there, always present," said Nancy.

But Joan never took life too seriously. Even as a senior, she liked to play dress-up.

She was an enthusiastic entertainer who went all in when it came to volunteering, whether she was leading singalongs at a personal care home or acting in a skit at the local curling club. And always, with a pile of textiles and dollar store supplies at the ready.

Every Monday, she sang songs for seniors at West Park Manor and dressed for whatever the theme was — a Christmas tree for a holiday jingle, a snowman for a winter ballad or a robin for a bird-focused tune. She would also become known for her annual over-the-top Easter bonnet at Charleswood United Church where, as a volunteer, she ran the junior choir for a time.

Joan was recognized with awards for her half-century of volunteer work at the church, 43 years as an entertainer at West Park Manor and 35 years with the Children’s Hospital Guild. In 2010, she received the City of Winnipeg Mayor’s Senior of the Year Award for her contributions.

While she logged lots of formal community service hours, she also spent time catering to people on the spot. She often drove people to and from the legion, church or curling club.

Her family attributes her giving spirit to her faith and strength, which helped her overcome the challenges she so rarely talked about, preferring to focus on positive things.

Joan’s persistent optimism never went unnoticed. She spoke each morning about how the day ahead would be "the best day." She’d tell friends the city they lived in was "the best city." To her religious community, she’d say, they frequented "the best church."

"When a person has that kind of spirit of gratitude in the midst of your congregation and your community, it lifts all of our spirits and makes all of us more grateful for who we are and what we have," said Rev. Michael Wilson. "No one person can fill this void — we all have to."

maggie.macintosh@freepress.mb.ca

Twitter: @macintoshmaggie