Highland dance ‘force’ left enduring legacy

Marlene O’Brien, 92, ‘gave her whole life to doing the best she could with this big family’

By: Cierra Bettens

In autumn 1948, 17-year-old Marlene Lathey, ripe with talent and determination, set a personal record, bowling a 600 series.

It captured the attention of the local newspaper, which published her impressive feat. It also captured the admiration of Harry O’Brien, a Second World War veteran and fellow bowler.

“My dad was a really elite athlete. He played high levels of baseball and hockey, and he had his name published in the paper a bunch of times,” says daughter Shelagh O’Brien. “So now, here’s this gal whose got her name in the paper… And so he said, ‘Hey, do you want to go for coffee?’”

She didn’t drink coffee, but still said yes. Three months later, they got engaged on Christmas Eve.

It was love at first strike.

Marlene O’Brien adopted many roles in the name of helping others.

She was a loving parent of eight, grandmother of 13, and great-grandmother of nine. She was a trailblazing Scottish highland dance leader, quick-witted wordsmith and gifted seamstress. As the wife of a travelling salesman, she planted roots across all three Prairie provinces.

O’Brien died May 23, at age 92, surrounded by family at Riverview Health Centre in Winnipeg.

She was born Nov. 25, 1930, in Saskatoon to Scottish-born mother Peggy and English father Henry. She was the youngest of three children.

While O’Brien’s love story could double as a contemporary fairy tale, her upbringing was far from traditional. Her parents divorced when she was young, a rare event in the late 1930s.

“The boys went with their dad and Mom stayed with her mom,” says daughter Maureane O’Shaughnessy. “It was really hard. There were lots of times that there wasn’t enough food… They made their own clothing, she learned how to knit (and) crochet.

“Everything was done from scratch.”

O’Brien’s modest upbringing instilled a high degree of independence and self-sufficiency. She carried these traits with pride as a mother and community leader. She even sewed her own wedding dress.

Several years after giving birth to their first child, Leslie O’Brien, in 1950, the family moved to Winnipeg from Saskatoon to support Harry’s career as a furniture salesman.

They spent 11 years in Manitoba, living in East Kildonan and St. Vital. In 1967, work prompted the family to move to Edmonton, where they’d settle permanently.

In Edmonton, O’Brien enrolled her children in highland dancing. But with few funds to cover the cost of expensive dance garb, O’Brien had to get creative.

Harnessing the skills nurtured in her formative years, O’Brien crafted hand-sewn kilts, velvet jackets and tartan socks for her children. Soon, other families sought her help — and she was quick to offer it.

“She was creating patterns from nothing. Everyone was asking her for advice,” Shelagh says. “She became the go-to person for these very complicated garments.”

After serving as a competition secretary for several years, she was elected president of the Edmonton Highland Dance Association, where she oversaw fundraising, competition activities and promotion

As a result of her dedication, she became the president of the Alberta Highland Dancing Association.

“To me, she was just my mom, who got me to where I needed to go and made my stuff. But to that world, she was kind of a force. She was organized and fair and detail-oriented,” Shelagh says.

“Those are things you don’t realize when you’re a kid at the time. I can only look back as an adult and go, ‘That was pretty cool.’”

Bill Troock, past president of ScotDance Canada, travels the world judging and competing in highland competitions. He credits the compassionate leadership of O’Brien for helping him get where he is today.

“(Shelagh’s) mom and my mom were very involved in the dancing,” Troock says. “She was always there, she was always organizing, and in a very gentle way. She was a really kind lady.”

During her tenure, O’Brien helped champion the “casino” fundraising model, which continues to be a crucial source of revenue. Troock reckons some of the tartan kilts she sewed are still in use.

“She left a huge legacy that continues today… That fundraising is substantial because that also is our fundraising to send our representatives to the Canadian championships every year.”

O’Brien had a way of making everyone she crossed paths with feel special. She had a soft heart and a sharp wit, always ready to throw a clever pun. She possessed an impeccable ability to recall names, places and faces, into her 90s.

“When you think of a personality like that, it colours every event of their life. Every single Christmas, or holiday, or birthday, she just did it all,” Shelagh says. “She just sprinkled her fairy dust over all those events.”

Maureane recounts the stories her mother would tell after returning from the No. 617 Squadron RAF reunions alongside her husband.

“Dad was part of that and they met every five years somewhere in the world,” Maureane says. “Mom would come back with so much detail about where they went, how well they were treated and all the names of all the people that were part of it.”

Once her children were old enough, O’Brien returned to work, managing a fabric store called Stretch and Sew, followed by Halliday’s, a woman’s clothing store.

O’Brien and her husband enjoyed 37 years of marriage. They bowled, loved and laughed. In 1985, Harry died at 63.

After decades in Edmonton, O’Brien spent the last few years of her life living with her daughter in Winnipeg. She arrived with a suitcase of clothing, token memorabilia and a dresser her father had gifted her on her wedding day.

It was the era of COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns and the first time Maureane had lived with her mother since moving out at 17. It was also the first time since childhood O’Brien traded caregiving for being cared for.

“My experience of having Mom here was wonderful. It felt like a privilege,” Maureane says.

O’Brien dedicated her life to helping others. From stitching blankets for those fighting in the Second World War to sewing tartan skirts for generations of highland dancers, she threaded her love into everything she did.

“She gave her whole life to doing the best she could with this big family,” Shelagh says. “She was, without a doubt, the most selfless person I’ve met in my life.”

passages@freepress.mb.ca