Educate yourself today for peace of mind tomorrow
I have been informed that sometimes my articles may be blunt and sometimes a bit aggressive. There is rationalreasoning behind this; believe it or not, I am looking out foryour family’s best interest. Family is the most important partof life. I make it a point to protect you by educating yourselftoday for peace of mind tomorrow. I believe in being honestand to the point. I do not believe in misleading or takingadvantage of people. I provide the true facts of what goes onbehind closed doors in the funeral business. Facts provideknowledge, knowledge provides wisdom and wisdom givesyou the power to be in control.
Everyday people are being misled and taken advantage of.It is important to know the stages of grief and identify whatstage of grief you are on. As a funeral professional I believe itis important that you are able to recognize the various stagesof grief. Recognizing the stages are important because somestages put you in a vulnerable position and open you up tobeing exploited. These stages are normal. Not every persongoes through the stages in the same order. Sales people aretrained to recognize what stage of grief you are experiencing,which helps them to upsell and take advantage of you at yourweakest moments.
Denial is the first of the five stages you may experience whendealing with the loss of a loved one. In a state of shock anddenial, we go numb, wondering how we will live without ourloved one. Not excepting this has happened, life may feelmeaningless and make no sense.
Anger is said to be a necessary part of the healing process.Most will experience this anger towards God or others, feelingyou may have been deserted and abandoned. The truth is,anger has no limits; each person experiences their own typeof anger, whether it is towards doctors, care givers family orfriends.
Bargaining is when you make a deal with your greater power.For example, let my mother live and have a normal life, andI will dedicate my life to helping others; or believe if youwould have done things differently, causing fault to our self’sasking for a second chance to make things better. We try tonegotiate, making guilt part of the bargaining process.
Depression is a normal part of the healing process. Toexperience depression is to realize your loved one is notcoming back this time. Sadness, loneliness, mixed emotions,frustration and depression is grief, and is considered a step inthe healing process.
Last is acceptance. Excepting the reality of death, knowingand understanding that your loved one is not coming back.We learn to live with the fact that death is part of life andwe must move on. Walking into the funeral home to makearrangements is part of acceptance.
Ask the question, “are you a licensed funeral director or asales person?” Sales in funeral service can be extremelyprofitable. Sales people like to reach deep into your pocket,selling whatever they can persuade you to buy. These peopleare professionally trained and may be aggressive. They arecoached over and over to upsell you on items that are notrequired or mandatory by law. Trust me when I tell you I haveexperienced firsthand the ruthful sales person who takesadvantage of the grieving family or the elderly. This happensevery day to people who are not educated enough in funeralservice to know the difference. Funeral service is not a game.This is why I operate in the way I do and inform the public tohelp them make decisions and not be taken advantage of.
Here are more helpful facts regarding funeral service:
Fact: Some funeral homes/ providers may tell you it ismandatory to place an obituary in the local paper. This is nottrue at all. Obituaries are only to be published at the family’srequest.
Fact: You do not need to use the funeral home situated oncemetery property. This is a myth and a sales tactic that isoften used to convince you it is more convenient to haveall services at one location. The Cemetery Act allows yourfamily to choose any funeral home to provide services suchas cremation, or preparation for tradition earth burial. Anexample of this is having Voyage provide a family witha service such as simple cremation, and then the familychoosing a cemetery for the burial of the cremated remains.
Fact: When choosing cremation, you are not obligated to do a burial and purchase cemetery property. Individuals may do what they wish with the cremated remains. Alternatives include scattering or keeping your loved ones remains in your home. If you choose to do a burial, you may inter the same day as the service or wait until spring to avoid the winter frost fee.
Fact: Not all funeral homes, providers or alternatives own crematoriums, or cemeteries. My number one suggestion when choosing cremation is to ask the important question of whether or not the funeral home owns and operates their own crematorium. Owning and operating a crematorium ensures that your loved one is in the care of the provider you trusted. Some funeral homes/ alternatives/ providers have misleading advertising, making the public believe they own a crematorium or a cemetery. This is extremely deceitful. Educate yourself to know the difference. A complete list of licensed crematoriums and cemeteries can be viewed on the Funeral Board of Manitoba’s website at: www.gov.mb.ca/ funeraldirectorsboard.
Fact: Pre-paying for cemetery property is a great investment and will help take the burden off your loved ones. However, when pre-purchasing cemetery property, you may be informed that you must also make funeral arrangements. This means you must preplan and prepay your final arrangements. This is not true at all. I highly recommend you shop around and compare pricing and services before prepaying and committing to a funeral home/ provider.
Fact: When pre-planning your final wishes, there are two methods to fund a preneed sale. The first method is to place your money in a trust account. The second and most popular way is to use an insurance policy. In my professional opinion, I would suggest an insurance policy as they are more flexible and protected. When using insurance policies, cheques are made payable to the provider directly, not the funeral home. An example of this would be Assurant Life of Canada.
Not all funeral homes and directors are bad or deceptive. There are many reputable and reliable funeral directors and homes to choose from. As a funeral director, I cannot take death away nor can I take away the pain. I do however have empathy and will do my utmost best to carry your family through the most difficult experiences caused by death. I promise to be honest, loving, caring, understanding and most of all have the greatest compassion, respect and dignity for your family, regardless of your situation.
- Hespeler Location
220 Hespeler Ave,
Phone: (204) 668-3151
- Pembina Location
1577 Pembina Hwy,
Phone: (204) 284-7500
- Selkirk Location
713 Greenwood Ave,
Phone: (204) 668-3151
Ask the Funeral Director
August 18, 2018
As a Funeral Director, I try to be a caringView More