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JESS BOWNESS Obituary pic

JESS BOWNESS

Born: Mar 17, 1926

Date of Passing: Mar 03, 2016

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JESS BOWNESS (née HANAM) March 17, 1926 - March 3, 2016 "What's better than a single rose on a piano? Tulips on an organ." In her 80s, our mother latched onto that joke and used it for a couple of years to accost wait staff, store clerks and strangers in elevators. She loved to make people laugh. Better yet, she loved to shock people, make them nervous and make them laugh. Frequently misunderstood, sometimes mistreated, ever mischievous, Jess Bowness died March 3 from complications arising from her decision to refuse insulin. She was 89. Diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, quadruple bypass surgery, neuropathy, memory loss and the very recent discovery of undiagnosed stage four breast cancer... she'd had enough. There wasn't enough laughter anymore. The family supported her gutsy decision to die on her own terms, at least on terms as best as she could negotiate given the legal and medical vacuum that still exists around the right to die. Her death took longer than it needed to; there was more discomfort and distress than needed to be. Changes to the law will come too late for Jess. Jess was born March 17, 1926 in Singapore, then a British colony, to Robert and Perimbee Hanam, two Indian converts to Christianity whose families had lived in what was then called Malaya for some time. Details are sketchy and contradictory. It is assumed that Robert had been born into a Hindu family in Penang and was orphaned at some point. Perimbee came from a well-off Muslim family in Taiping, in the Malay state of Perak. Robert became a schoolteacher, principal and lay preacher (Methodist / Plymouth Brethren). The couple married in Singapore in 1913, eventually spawning a large family of strong characters and over-achievers. Jess's education was interrupted by the Second World War; she never completed high school. The Japanese invasion of Singapore occurred on February 15, 1942, one month before Jess's 16th birthday. She worked as a nurse in a Japanese-run civilian hospital during the three-and-a-half-year occupation. Her eldest sister died in 1945, just two days after the official Japanese surrender of Singapore. A ravishingly beautiful young woman, Jess made the most of the post-war years and, later, loved telling stories of her many suitors and glamorous exploits. She met Michael Bowness, a young university lecturer from England, in 1952; they were married December 19, 1953. Their first child, Gerald, died soon after birth. Then came Alun, David, Susan and Gordon. The family immigrated to Canada in 1965. Michael was a professor of biochemistry at the University of Manitoba. The family settled in the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Fort Rouge. Singapore to Winnipeg. Plus 30 degrees to minus 40. Cosmopolitan island state to land- locked provincial city (prior to this country's embrace of multiculturalism). No extended family, no servants. Just the relentless labour of raising four kids in a strange country with a husband with whom she didn't always see eye to eye. Jess was a generous, loving mother and grandmother... fun, hardworking, stubborn. She was a fantastic cook with surprising range: Malay, Indian, Chinese, Nonya and British. She even made two TV appearances on a cooking show (in actuality, a women's history program), The Loving Spoonfuls. Jess was an avid gardener with a passion for wildflowers. She would often be found in highway ditches, woodlots or remote bogs, bucket and spade in hand, searching for her cherished Lady Slippers. She loved games and murder mysteries; she had an eye for hidden patterns and numbers. Who knows what she would have become raised in a different era? Her powers of argument were unparalleled. Jess was stylish to the point of eccentricity. One outfit suffices, early 1980s, worn to a social to raise money for a son's terminally ill friend: silver knee-high platform leather boots, sparkly silver pants that tied at the knee, black-and-white striped blouse (the pants and blouse she had stitched herself) and lots of silver snake jewellery, bracelets and necklaces, some wrapped into her hair. She danced with every male in the place, except for her sons who cowered in awe. Her humour was unflagging, irreverent and, at times, off-kilter. Any time her younger child had to complete a school form that asked for his mother's occupation, she'd insist he write in "lady of leisure". When she was bored, she'd often answer the phone with, "City morgue". Family life in suburban Winnipeg never seemed quite the right fit for her, even though she loved her children to a fault. To a fault. Jess's progeny run the gamut from scientists and educators to writers, from a wine expert to food supply and social justice activists. Their engaged and compassionate joie de vivre is part of Jess's legacy. "Pshh, Canadians", she might sometimes exclaim dismissively, but her contribution to her adopted country is undeniable, vibrant and ongoing. A gregarious soul, Jess drew relationships from all walks of life. She was a loyal but complicated friend to a special group of women who understood her strengths and deficits. Jess is survived by her sister Grace, brother Chaz and his wife Linda, sister-in-law Lillian, children Alun, David, Susan and Gordon and their spouses Sheila, Rita, Denis and Maurice, grandchildren Evan and Grace -- and their mother Donnie -- Avery, Damian, Camille, Chantelle, Miguel and Melanie, and nieces, nephews, grandnieces and grandnephews around the world. Husband Michael Bowness died in 1999. The family would like to thank the staff of the acute care ward in the Grace Hospital for their attentive care during Jess's last days. There will be no service. The family will hold a private memorial at a later date. In lieu of flowers or donations, the family encourages friends and acquaintances to write their federal and provincial representatives and ministers to show support for broadly defined right-to-die legislation, and to urge legislators to act soon. Delay is causing unnecessary anxiety and pain. Help make right-to-die legislation another part of Jess Bowness's Canadian legacy. And more laughs.

As published in Winnipeg Free Press on Mar 08, 2016

Condolences & Memories (16 entries)

  • We are so very grateful to have known Jess and to be her next-door neighbour for a few years on Wellington Crescent. After we moved away from Winnipeg, I often thought of Jess, even after we lost each other's phone contacts: I miss her larger-than-life personality, her humour, her aromatic cooking, her wonderful stories. I remember that I had wanted to write a book capturing all those many glamorous evenings and exploits you spoke of. Jess was truly one-in-a-million. We will always cherish and remember her for her kindness and generosity, for cooking and even caring for Kaela and our cats, and even for those awkward uncomfortable moments (which I know she thoroughly enjoyed). I want to be her when I grow up. :) Thank you for writing such a beautiful obituary, and for making the case for the right-to-die - an argument that I wholeheartedly support. - Posted by: Brenda Wilson, Dennis Bente and Kaela (Winnipeg neighbours) on: Apr 23, 2019

  • I met Susan's lovely mother when she hosted our work group, Meet Your Neighbour. I still consider it one of the great meals of my life, but the best part was the entertainment was the stories she enthralled us with. I just recently was in Singapore and thought of her, searching for Susan I found her mother's obituary, saddened by the news yet happy to have had a brief encounter with such a lovely joyous person. Susan please contact me. - Posted by: Barry Floch (Friend of Susan's) on: May 22, 2016

  • May family had the pleasure of sharing stories and laughter with her at Shaftesbury Place. She was a wonderful woman with a very kind heart. She was the first resident to greet my grandmother when she first arrived and insisted they strike up a friendship and that they sit together for every meal. I can't thank her enough for being so welcoming and full of joy and laughter. She really helped my shy grandmother find some joy, comfort and companionship. We are very sorry for your loss. The Pranys Family. - Posted by: Natalie Hardie-Pranys () on: Mar 18, 2016

  • That raspy, deep laugh resonated throughout the house - yours or mine across the lane. Jess taught me some important lessons such as always dance when you are cooking and that it was more respectful to call her 'Jess' than Mrs. Bowness. I hope that your sorrow gives way to fond memories over time. - Posted by: Vicki (Allen) Asu (Neighbours in the 70's and 80's) on: Mar 11, 2016

  • Jess was a rare gem and an incredible gift in my mother's life. She was mom's BFF when they were both living at the Canoe Club. I loved hearing her wonderful stories, listening to her awesome wit and just spending time with her on the occasions I was fortunate enough to spend some time with them both. My Mom, Dona Brekelmans, who cherished her friendship with Jessie, passed away yesterday. Our whole family is so appreciative of the patience, warmth and humour that Jessie brought into her life and to ours. My heart and my spirit are with you all. - Posted by: Rosie O'Connor (Friend) on: Mar 11, 2016

  • Sympathy to the family. Remember well, living two doors down from you guys growing up. They were good times. - Posted by: doug lang (neighbour) on: Mar 10, 2016

  • My condolences to the family. What a beautiful lady so courageous. I work with the elderly as a nurse and there is so much that needs to be done with legislation. Again I hope people who read her story will support her decision. - Posted by: Danielle Grant (Nurse who cares) on: Mar 10, 2016

  • Your mom sounded like a wonderful lady and we wish to send our condolences for your loss. - Posted by: Claude & Debbie Roy (Friend of Alun Bowness) on: Mar 10, 2016

  • I did not know Jess, but after reading this wonderful tribute, I wish that I did. My deepest condolences to the family. I also want to thank Jess for her courage at the end of her incredible life, and her family for encouraging people to write to federal and provincial legislators for broadly defined right to die laws. This will indeed be part of Jess Bowness's Canadian legacy. With so much admiration and appreciation, Shanaaz Gokool, CEO Dying with Dignity Canada - Posted by: Shanaaz Gokool () on: Mar 09, 2016

  • I remember that joke all to clearly when she first came to The Portsmouth. She was a devine woman. Always had a joke to tell and always had me laughing. She was a pleasure to know and a pleasure to serve. My heart goes out to the family and her friends. She will always be in me heart. I will always remember her beautiful smile. - Posted by: Maureen Smith (Friend) on: Mar 09, 2016

  • On May 20th, 2003 Jess left me this note. . .it changed my life. Dee-Dee Dear, I am on my way to emergency. Its really nothing to worry about. But my GP insists. Please take care of Whiskey and if anything should happen to me, remember she belongs to you. Alun abides by my wishes. Thank you so much, We love you. Jess I was so grateful to Jess for trusting me to take care of her beautiful Whiskey. My sweet angel Whiskey passed away July 13, 2015 My condolences to the whole family. Jess was one of a kind, the most interesting person I had the pleasure of knowing. - Posted by: Dee-Dee Newton (Friend) on: Mar 09, 2016

  • A very courageous lady. My condolences to the Bowness family. - Posted by: Bob MacDonald (Friend of Alun) on: Mar 09, 2016

  • We extend our condolences to the family. As Mike's colleagues we had the pleasure of knowing all of you. We particularly appreciated the obituary which accurately reflected Jess's character as we remember it. - Posted by: Frits and Joan Stevens (Friends) on: Mar 08, 2016

  • We knew Jess when we lived in Canada in WiNnipeg on Wellington Crescent. Spent many a fun evening in her company enjoying her excellent cuisine. Had many laughs and interesting chats. Condolences to her family. - Posted by: Dr Larry Mackie and Dr James Welch (Friends and neighbours) on: Mar 08, 2016

  • My deepest condolence to the family. Jess was an unforgettable person. We used to spend many hours playing Rummykub, cooking, and gardening. Remember the incident when her hair caught fire because she came too close to the birthday cake? - Posted by: Chooi Leong (Friend) on: Mar 08, 2016

  • We had the pleasure of knowing Jesse and Michael whilst living in Winnipeg. Loved the parties. Our sincere condolences to the Bowness family - Posted by: Joyce and Richard Taylor (Friend and Neighbour) on: Mar 08, 2016

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