MARY KILBORN (BALABAN)

Adjust Text Size: A+ A-

MARY KILBORN (nee BALABAN) On Sunday, May 29, 2011, I said goodbye to my best friend, an extraordinary woman who taught me so much in and about life. My Mom's passing marked the end of 11 years of kidney disease, along with daily dialysis and its challenges. Born in Stewartburn to Anna Styka and John Balaban on February 12, 1924, she grew up in Transcona, where she finished high school, and then went on to Success Business College. Thereafter she worked at the Grain Exchange, where she met Henry Kilborn and they married on July 4, 1951. They started their married life on Anderson Avenue, eventually building a home in Fort Garry, where they/she lived until her passing. My father passed away in 2007. As an Aquarius, nurturing and a dedication to helping others came naturally to her. Between choosing to retire early from the federal civil service to be a stay at home Mom, to serving as a trustee for the Fort Garry Library, my Mom cherished her home, and her neighbourhood. For many years she canvassed for charities in the neighbourhood, as well as contributing to many a pot luck supper at the former Donnelly United Church, serving what became known as the best perogies between here and the North End. When she wasn't hard at work making life at home a life filled with memories and good Ukrainian fare, she was busy at the cottage at Ottermere, a retreat she cherished so very much. Through my father's work, she was able to travel to many different parts of the world, accompanying him on business trips, yet always glad to come home. She had a green thumb that produced a rose garden that was, and will continue to be the envy of many. In life though, she faced numerous health challenges and if her maiden name Balaban means one thing, it would be made of steel . Mom started life with an allergy to milk, and as an adult, she faced a diagnosis of hypertension, which afflicted her for many years, eventually causing kidney failure. With a transplant not being a good choice, given her advanced age at the time, she began the daily odyssey that is dialysis, never complaining about the restrictions or complications that come part and parcel with any life sustaining therapy. In 2009, she suffered a heart attack and survived. She almost suffered another heart attack soon after the first, and again survived. Throughout her life, she was always someone who maintained that she would never want to see anyone or anything suffer, and as her situation started to change in the last two years, I am so very glad the values she taught me as a mother allowed me to respect her wishes, so that goodbye would hurt the least that it could. In spite of the pain I knew she was in at the end, she still found the strength to squeeze my hand and remember to wish me a happy birthday. She was a mother who celebrated my successes, admonished my mistakes and swathed all of it in the love and forgiveness that only a mother can do. She taught me the meaning of love, and equally as important, that it's OK to let someone love you in return, because in our lives, all any of us really have is each other... Survived by one sister, Jean Dzyndra; and myself, her son Clayton. She was predeceased by two other sisters, Stella and Nettie; and one brother Mike. Many thanks to the very dedicated team of professionals at St. Boniface Hospital, including the Peritoneal Dialysis Unit, Cardiology and Emergency. A very special thank you to Dr. Catherine Toews and the nurses on 5E, who made saying goodbye hurt a lot less, and a very special thank you to Dr. Patricia Harris at The Manitoba Clinic for many years of care, along with Val Dunphy and Rose Norris at the Kidney Foundation (Manitoba). Funeral services were held June 7, 2011 at Thomson In the Park , with my Mom joining my Dad in their niche in the Serenity Room. A very heartfelt thank you to retired Minister Michael Boulger and his wife Lillian for making the trip from London for my Mom's service. Visit me often Mom and Dad. I hope to look up this coming July 4th and see them dancing across the sky together, reunited after almost four years apart, celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary, together again, hurting no more. In lieu of donations, please reach out to someone who is travelling a road they don't want to be on, and give them a hand to hold onto, on the road on life's way.

As published in Winnipeg Free Press on Jun 18, 2011