SHIRLEY ANN TOKAR (OAKES)

Adjust Text Size: A+ A-

SHIRLEY ANN TOKAR
June 10, 1941 – October 11, 2019

It breaks our hearts to announce the sudden passing of Shirley Tokar (nee Oakes), our beloved wife, mother, nana, sister and aunt. After a long battle with numerous illnesses she died peacefully with her husband of 54 years, Ed, and their son Jeff at her side.
She is survived by her husband Ed; son Jeff (Carol); cherished grandchildren, Cassandra, Eric, and Megan of Winnipeg. Son Cory, of Calgary; brother Jack (Louise) Oakes, of Kelowna, BC; and sister Barbara (Dennis) Palmer, of Gilroy, California. She is also survived by several nieces and nephews. Shirley was predeceased by her father Jesse Oakes, mother Ruth Pierce and parents-in-law, Steve and Olga Tokar.
Shirley was born and raised in St. Vital and graduated from Glenlawn Collegiate. She worked at various jobs until meeting Ed in August 1962. At this time, she was hired by the Abbott Clinic as a receptionist for Dr. Goodhand and Dr. McDougall. She and Ed were engaged in July 1964 and married April 24, 1965. She continued working until 1967 when they purchased their first home in Transcona and when Jeff was born. The family grew with the birth of Cory in 1969. Shirley embraced her new role with raising a family and homemaking.
Throughout these years her culinary skills grew providing family and friends with legendary salads and desserts. She loved gardening and every year she created beautiful flower beds, especially with her favourite roses. Her artistic skills also developed resulting in wonderful needle point pictures and ceramic pieces that are treasured.
In 1977, she missed being in the workforce meeting the public, and acquired a position of receptionist for Dr. Daya Gupta. During this period with both boys now into sports, she made time to become a hockey mom, attending games, and volunteering at the Oxford Heights Community Club. She took her turns operating the canteen, supervising Friday night teen dances, and handling the social bookings and rentals of the hall.
In December 1987, Shirley and Ed retired, and in early 1988 travelled the southwest United States and California to visit her mom and sister. They both loved Arizona and in 1989 purchased a home in Apache Junction. In 1990, they sold their home in Transcona and built a cottage at Hillside Beach. Thus began a wonderful lifestyle for them that lasted almost 25 years. Shirley being a water lover all her life, was in her glory with a beach and lake in the summer, and a pool and hot tub in winter. Along the way they met and made everlasting friends on both sides of the border.
Over these years however, Shirley endured a number of health problems including diabetes, heart surgery, breast cancer, and kidney disease among them. Their snowbird years came to an end in the fall of 2014, when her kidneys were nearing failure and dialysis was required. In early 2015, Ed travelled alone to Arizona and sold their home while Shirley stayed with son Jeff and his family. They then took an apartment in the city close to the hospital where she would receive dialysis three days per week.
By 2014, dementia became an issue that steadily progressed. On September 11, 2019, it became necessary for her safety, to place her in a personal care home. On October 7, a dialysis treatment was halted due to heart failure and lifeline bacterial infections.
Heart wrenching consideration of all her conditions resulted in the most painful decision a family can experience, the stopping of a treatment that would result in their loved one's end of life. A peaceful end came for Shirley at 7:50 a.m., Friday October 11, 2019.
In accordance with her wishes, cremation has taken place and a private family service was held.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in memory of Shirley to the charity of their choice.

Family and friends may sign
a book of condolence at www.desjardinsfuneralchapel.ca

As published in Winnipeg Free Press on Oct 19, 2019