MARY ROSE CECILE LILLIAN WIEBE (MALONEY) (LIL)

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MARY ROSE CECILE LILLIAN WIEBE

On May 5, 2021, Mary Rose Cecile Lillian Wiebe (nee Maloney), who was known to her family and friends as Lillian or simply "Lil", died peacefully at the Extendicare Tuxedo Villa in the City of Winnipeg.
Lillian was born on August 11, 1936 in Dunrea, Manitoba, the fourth child born in a farm family, one of six children. She was predeceased quite recently by her husband of 60 years, Gilbert. Predeceased by her siblings, Laurence and Anna, she will be very sorely missed and remembered with great affection by her two children, Greg (Sherri) and Trevor (Renee), the granddaughter she always wanted, Angelina, and her surviving siblings, Patrick, Annette and Raynold.
In her younger days, Lillian lived on a farm near Dunrea, and then moved to Margaret before going to Winnipeg for training and accreditation as a teacher. Thereafter, she taught on a full-time basis in Morris. Although generally shy, she enjoyed her social life, especially being around interesting or funny people but friends and acquaintances always took a back seat to family. Distance meant fewer visits were possible with her brothers out West, but fortunately Lillian and her sisters Anna and Annette all lived in Winnipeg. This particular trio was always a highly entertaining blend of differing personalities and, whether delighted or annoyed at each other at any given moment, a lot of high-decibel laughter was invariably the result of their interpersonal chemistry.
It was during her time in Morris when Lil met her future husband Gilbert. "Gil and Lil" started their family in 1962, and they moved to Charleswood, where Lillian was to reside for most of the rest of her life. As was common then, Lillian's teaching gave way to child-raising and home-making duties. She did, however, still teach on a "substitute" basis occasionally and her appearances in her sons' classes were especially memorable. As an unapologetically no-nonsense disciplinarian, on at least one occasion a son of hers found himself unconvincingly trying to persuade his classmates that, no, this scary woman was definitely not HIS mother, and that the identical first and last names this very strict stranger shared with his mother must be some sort of bizarre coincidence. Upon hearing stories like this, Lillian's very generous reserves of good humour would bubble over and overtake her no-nonsense side, with the result often being tears of uproarious laughter.
In addition to putting the fear of God into unsuspecting "spoiled rotten" elementary school children, Lillian was always a dependable "Mom" who was always there to listen, empathize and support. She very much enjoyed having her sons' friends and neighbourhood kids around, and also enjoyed volunteering some time with Cub Scouts or hockey. This enjoyment notwithstanding, she would often complain loudly about the inherent unfairness of being the only female in the household, which wasn't so much a misandric pot-shot as it was a very accurate and possibly even mild assessment of the challenges of living with three very overbearing, and often obnoxious, males. Having grown up with three brothers, she knew that lines needed to be drawn, even if it meant the occasional sacrifice of a wooden spoon or two. Fortunately for her sons, making her laugh generally helped cut down on her lamentations about not having been blessed with daughters. It was a good day for her many years later when she found out she finally got her wish via the arrival of her granddaughter.
After her "spoiled rotten" sons had left the nest and her husband retired, Lillian very much enjoyed her life split between Mesa, Arizona and Kenora, Ontario. Never particularly athletic, she golfed determinedly if not exactly with joy, although silencing the hyper-competitiveness and unsolicited coaching advice that constantly emanated from her golf-obsessed and irritating hubby via sinking the hole-in-one he never accomplished had to have been the thrill of that particular decade. During summers, going to the family cottage near Kenora always interested her but it was her travel to further and more exotic places that really tickled her fancy. A consummate reader, crafts hobbyist and scrap-booker, these trips were like deep, fascinating lectures to her.
She particularly savoured the opportunity for the family to visit friends in Europe. She was clearly dazzled by the opportunity to go to places she had only read or dreamed about. Whatever her age, it was clear through the notes she took and the scrapbooks she made that those travels were extremely memorable and deeply meaningful to her. And, naturally, her handwriting was always "schoolteacher perfect".
Not being a terribly verbal person, Lillian was not very argumentative by nature but neither was she a conversational pushover, especially when it came to basic issues of "right vs wrong". Ever the farm girl, she was an extremely grounded person, unimpressed by prestige and "stuff", as she called it. Often, she could be a surprising counterweight in debates, disarming the grandiose speeches, tortured rationalizations or assorted stupidities of others with a simple loud utterance of "oh ... PLEASE", followed by a guffaw or two or three, which was generally sufficient to raise collective awareness of the BS involved and, notably, generally without hurting anyone in the process.
At root, this unprepossessing woman often surprised with a personality that was at first hard to read but revealed to be stealthily playful and funny. While stoic and strong in many ways, she also liked to have FUN, an attribute she passed on to her eldest son Greg, with whom she would often enjoy easy and plentiful laughs through silly and playful conversations, whether over the phone or in person. Lillian gave to all of us many fond memories imbued with images of her watchful, sometimes mischievous, expectant or teasing, looks, which were often quickly followed by loud bursts of her unique brand of cackling laughter. It was hard for others not to join in and laugh too when she did that.
But, in the end, it was her brand of quietly expressed but constant love and stoicism that truly left a mark on all of us. Even while in palliative care with her cognitive capacity fading, her questions were always things like "Are you okay?" or "Is anyone in trouble?" or other expressions that reflected her lifelong habit of putting the concerns and well-being of her loved ones first.
And she didn't talk much about such things because -- she truly didn't have to.
Due to the current public health circumstances, in lieu of a more formal or public ceremony, the family will be holding a private service during which her ashes will be scattered at the site of her beloved Winnipeg River, near Kenora.

As published in Winnipeg Free Press on May 22, 2021