JOAN MARIAN BETKER

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JOAN MARIAN BETKER

(nee SMART)

March 12, 1941 – May 5, 2024

It is with profound sadness that we announce the unexpected and sudden passing of our dear Mom and Nana on Sunday, May 5, 2024, at Grey Nun's Community Hospital in Edmonton.

Left to cherish her memory are her son, Larry Betker; daughter-in-law Laurie; adored grandchildren James and Nicole (Brad), and great-grandchildren Maddox and Aspen; daughter Sheri Betker; son-in-law Gene Fraser and 'bonus' grandchildren and great-grandchildren - Will (Jess), Kaeleigh (Ryan and Piper), and Kenzie (Sare and Credence), as well as her brother Jack Smart and sister-in-law Carol Duncan.

Joan was born March 12, 1941, to Gordon and Dorothy Smart (nee Macdonald) in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. She lived in North Battleford throughout her school years and moved to Saskatoon in 1959 to attend Teachers College, achieving her certificate in 1960. She then moved to Winnipeg to teach, and it is here where she met and married our Dad, Fred Betker.

Teaching was never really Mom's passion; it was when she became a full-time Mom that she found her true calling. Her fresh baked cookies were loved by all the kids on Truro Street (they were delicious, but we secretly wished we could simply have some Oreos, or other 'boughten' cookies - we didn't realize how lucky we were!). She was an active member of the Deer Lodge Community Club and spent many hours working the canteen or standing in her sealskin boots in the snowbanks around the outdoor rinks, cheering us on at all our hockey and ringette games. She sewed many of our clothes, and Sheri's Barbies were the best dressed, often having matching outfits made with the leftover material. Her love for animals meant that we always had a dog or cat, or both, as pets; we are so thankful for that experience as kids. She read to us, always. Although money wasn't abundant, she made Christmases memorable and special. She was the most creative when it came to dreaming up rhyming clues that led us throughout her house to find gifts that were just too big to wrap and put under the tree. She was, quite simply, the best.

Education was always extremely important to Mom, and she continued with university classes while we were little; every Thursday night was Mom's night to "go to university." Once we were old enough to manage on our own, Mom went back to work substitute teaching and doing income tax during tax season. Her knack and love for numbers led her to a bookkeeping position, which ultimately inspired her to go back to school to complete her CGA, something she achieved while working full-time, and raising her family. We don't think she ever realized what an accomplishment this was (nor the accomplishment of learning to drive at age 50!). Mom had a wonderful career as an accountant, but we think she would agree that other than raising us, her most important and meaningful role came when she got the opportunity to look after her grandchildren, James and Nikki when they were little. We often called her 'Grammar Nana' as she would say, 'Who's Meein?' when one of them would say, "Me and so and so did such and such'. She was always 39! Such a blessing.

Mom lived most of her life in Winnipeg, first on Truro Street, then Parkdale Street, and finally a condo on Portage Avenue. Wherever she lived, Mom made friends easily and was a loyal friend to many, especially her Parkdale neighbours. In 2017, Mom made the big decision to move to Alberta to be closer to her beloved grandkids; it turned out to be the best move! Here, she enjoyed her time in assisted living where she had regular visits from family and looked forward to her walks with Larry around the nearby pond. She often commented on all the weeds; Larry had to explain to her that this was 'naturalization.' She had only recently moved to long-term care, where she was settling in nicely.

Who was this remarkable woman? First and foremost, she was the best Mom and Nana. She was beautiful, incredibly intelligent, fiercely independent, a voracious reader, caring, selfless, and a breast cancer survivor. She made the best lemon meringue and pumpkin pies. She was an avid volunteer, doing income tax for seniors and those less fortunate, assisting adults who could not read, offering her accounting expertise to various seniors' groups, and lending an ear to those who just needed someone to talk to – she was the least judgmental person you would ever meet, and the best listener. Although Mom and Dad separated, they remained friends through the years, and she kept in touch with the Betker clan.

Despite facing dementia over the last several years, Mom met most days with a positive outlook (once she'd had her cup of coffee!). She often remarked, "I don't know where I left my brain, and it was a pretty good one; I sure wish I could find it!" Her insight into her declining cognitive abilities was both frustrating and scary for her. For us, it was devastating and sad. We are thankful that the disease had not progressed to the point where she did not know her family. Not everyone is so lucky.

According to Mom's wishes, cremation has taken place and there will be no formal service. Instead, we had a lovely family dinner (turkey along with Mom's infamous "Nikki's Veggie Bake" – her favourites), followed by a toast to the most inspiring and magnificent woman! We are who we are today because of her unwavering patience and guidance throughout our lives. Her indelible impression on all of us will remain with us always, whether we realize it or not. That was her magic. We will miss you, your positive outlook, and your giant smile, but are comforted in knowing you have finally found your brain and are back to doing the most difficult sudoku and crossword puzzles. We love you always and forever.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the Canadian Cancer Society or a charity of your choice.

The following was found handwritten by Mom in a notebook:

Our greatest treasure is our family – not only the warm circle around the Christmas tree, but all those whose love gave us life, and those who will carry our love into the future.

As published in Winnipeg Free Press on May 18, 2024, May 18, 2024